1week more to exam.

wth, not enough time.

im SO IN NEED of quality sleep :(

i need proper rest, but my mind wont let me.

super depressed.

with proper rest, i can wake up early n study.

sighh

suddenly though of like why was i so stupid to choose nyp.

i still rmb when i was tgt with terence, he told me to choose np

because its like not so far and we cld see each other often.

but i was like too passionate about frisbee, wanting to play

and be part of the family..

so i chose to go nyp.

really, i did regret going to nyp.

because now i cant even play well in frisbee

and i dont feel like im part of this family, im dying to be.

im just trying so so hard to be someone im not

and trying soooo hard to fit in.

i dont know who to blame, my family or the culture i grew up in.

cause for all i know, i sec sch friends all speak the way i do and so does my family

we're all straightforward, but we know when we're joking or not.

then again, when i think about it.

im grateful for choosing to go nyp,

because i've made friends with awesome ppl like mike,diana,ben,gordon..etc

even though i know they wont stay,

because friends wont stay by your side forever..

im still happy for the happy moments we had and they were there when i was down.

but i still envy those people who have friends who stay near them.

they can go sch tgt, go home tgt and have supper anytime.

i always wanted that,

since i was primary 1.

nice to know, i have a good friend who stays beside me.

sigh.

oh wells,

gave tuition today, was late :X

her prelims are like on thursday.

so i had to cancel my study date with Jackie on wed :(

to prep her for her science paper.

was actually kinda excited to meet Jackie cause its like never see him for 9years..

sighhh, i feel the stress man haha.

both for her n for me cause my paper is on TUESDAY!!!

stresssssed

got to study marketing tml :(

help me.

oh yes,

and i thought of going back to christianity.

my life have been kinda screwed ever since i backslided...

God, help me get rid of this heavy heart and lemme focus on my studies.

I WANA GO BACK TO YOU :( im sorry for leaving.shouldnt have.