i actually did woke up at 8.30am today

for awhile den i snooze my alarm

from 8.30am to 9.30 to 10.30 and finally 12pm AGAIN

haha its been going on like tat for 4days.

wtf is wrong with me.

i never ever slpt till so late for 4days straight before.

wasted my morning.

studied abit...watched family guy

feel so bad for making ben wait for me

cause he said he cld accompany me to go visit keyuan...

den alfred msg me n said he was free to go oxy party n cld accompany me to hospital

soooo i decided to just go with alfred.

and im treating ben lunch cause i made him wait

haha SORRY BEN

oh wells, went back to school to take my abc reports in the locker

den went to yishun, wait for alfred

and head down to ktp

lucky alfred got iphone, otherwise i'd get lost

even with ben's direction to go there

haha.

so reached the hospital, and saw keyuan..

feel so awkward, facing him...

i feel so sad, like can just cry on the spot

i hate hate to see my friends in pain

say im emotional or what i dont care, cause its me

when i see my friends cry, i'll cry with them

when i see them in pain, i'll cry because i feel the pain

mike says its good cause it shows i care alot for my friends..

i dont know, sometimes i see it as like " cry-baby "

oh wells,

head down to oxy hse aft tat.

alfred n i flagged for a "high-class" cab

and the starting rate was 5bucks!wtheck!

haha, nvm learnt a lesson..

watch out for what type of cab before flagging one.

reached oxy hse, just in time to cut cake :) niceee

hope he like the card i drew for him sia!haha

hmph slacked ard for awhile, kinda awkward but yea nvm

not every time someone turns 21 :) prime age somemore!

just bare with the awkwardness lor.

felt kinda depressed after hearing people talk about frisbee

and edge game, all the layouts, people improving..

im dying to play, dying to improve.

but when i get the chance to play, i just cant prove myself.

sigh, its always been like tat for me..in wdv i do.

its like for my singing, its the same.

for my art skills, its also the same.

even for my studies, i'd nv get A.

i always get Bs,Cs and Ds...and adding on the list, its Fs

im just really tired of being useless.

had 2 sticks before leaving to go home with alfred..

and i suddenly had the thought that

" shit, im a smoker now. "

cause i've been craving for sticks..

maybe cause im stressed or depressed.

ah, this is bad.

must control, cannot smoke anymore.

another thing is, i dont know if i shld be so close to alfred

i dont wana turn out to be a 3rd party

i mean even if he doesnt hv feelings,

if his gf knows abt..its like NOT GOOD

when a girl says she is not jealous, she is lying

and from what i know, she gets jealous easily...

ahhhh...oh wells.

so many things running thru my mind right now.

its almost impossible to say all.