had fun today,

thanks for the hotpot buffet and the fishing fun :)

end of story abt the day.

when i reached home, i was thinking about frisbee.

like should i carry on?

its like my presences really didnt matter

whether im there or not.

and i figured it'll be better if i quit.

here are the reasons:

1) i wont disappoint ben anymore, ben can pin his hopes on people who can really bloom

2) i wont have to face jamal, and i seriously dont like how the situation is now.

3) i wont have to see the couple.

4) my parents wont be angry with me always

5) i can concentrate fully on my studies.

6) dont need to think of fitting in every time i go training or gathering.

sigh, FML.

i wish i can like just go overseas right now and study there.

den when i come back, i'll start afresh.

seriously, i get the impression when i tell people abt my parents objection and my focus is on my studies..

they just think i have poor time management or im giving excuses.

but fuck, look at my fucking course, its no different from a JC student.

i take 6papers every sem.

my project work and assignment matters.

JC lei, is only the last hit, Alevels.

who the fuck say poly is easier, seriously just fucking try a science course.

its not fair how they say "aiyah JC student, priority is their studies"

fuck, you mean poly students priority is not studies, but to have fun?priority to cca?

wth man.

im so fucking sick and tired of being judged over and over again

so fucking sick and tired of being a disappointment to people and to myself

so fucking sick and tired of not being able to fit in and be part of the family.

maybe i shouldnt have even started frisbee.

i shouldnt have joined dk.

i dont know how to mingle with the people, im scare that i'll say stuff wrongly.

my presence dont matter.

im just a lousy player that make good players look good.

end of story abt my thought..

im sorry, i just need to rant :(